Living by Your Values

Learning values. During your life­time your parents and teachers have been teaching you the values of our society. Sometimes you have not been aware that you were learning new values, but you have been learning them every minute. You have learned from watching others, hearing others, and observing your own actions. You have learned that some things are con­sidered right; others, wrong.

One interesting test of your values is to think of yourself as an invisible person. How would your actions change if you knew that no one could see you?

Try This
Test your own system of values by completing the sentence: I believe that the three most important things in life are ….

Your conscience. You have the power to weigh the worthiness of everything you do or say. All your life your mind has been at work filing away mental impressions of the way you have acted and the ways those you respect have acted. Out of all these impressions and memories, your con­science has been formed. Your con­science judges you for every action you make.

The society in which we live has cer­tain standards of behavior by which we guide our lives. Our consciences and the consciences of our parents and loved ones have picked up these stand­ards. Your conscience reminds you to study for a test, even though you may be tempted to do the opposite. In later years your conscience will help you to accept greater responsibilities and will become a more vital part of your per­sonality.

Guilty feelings. You may find that occasionally your conscience conflicts with something you want to do. If you do not follow your conscience, you will probably feel guilty or ashamed. Ev­eryone occasionally makes mistakes. It is important for you to know how to make up for them.

Perhaps the hardest part of making up for a mistake is admitting to your­self that you were wrong. If you quar­reled with your sister or brother over some small matter, you probably do not want to admit to yourself that you were partly to blame. Once you have admitted your mistake to yourself, however, it is much easier to make a sincere apology or to make up for the wrongdoing. Certainly you can see that you will command greater respect if you follow your conscience and also try to make up for whatever short­comings you can.

Values in your personality. You may have been able to conclude from the information in the last few pages that a person’s values can shape his personality. For example, a person who believes in the value of a good education is likely to be curious, interested in many subjects, and active in school affairs. His values have had a great effect on his personality.

You can see that a lack of strong values can affect personality, too. A person who does not value honesty would have a less than admirable set of traits in his personality. In the eyes of others, your values may well be the mark of your personality.

As you think about values and per­sonality, you will realize that they relate to both mental health and family relationships. Because of these relationships, you are likely to improve your family relationships as you im­prove your mental health and personality. An improvement in one area is likely to affect other areas as well.

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