Maintaining Mental Health - Understanding feelings of rebellion

Understanding feelings of rebellion. When you have become as old as you are now, you may find that you disagree with some of your parents’ and teachers’ values and ways of doing things. You feel that you want to make decisions for yourself and do not want someone to make them for you. You are learning to become independent and are forming more of your own personality.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that sooner or later you will work out your own ways of doing things. Instead of going your own way and ignoring the advice of adults com­pletely, talk over some of your prob­lems with your parents, clergyman, guidance counselor, and teachers. It may surprise you to find that they can be a great help in finding answers to your problems.

Never forget the possibility that you may be rebelling against people just for the sake of rebellion. You may be so eager to show that you are mature that you forget that most of your par­ents’ values are extremely sound. It is a mature person who can look at his own feelings of rebellion and realize that sometimes they have little basis in reality. If you can look at your feelings in this way, you have taken a giant step toward adulthood.

After you have considered these four areas of mental health–maintaining self-confidence, making ad­justments, controlling emotions, and understanding feelings of rebellion—-you may have a better idea of the ways to change your personality and main­tain good mental health.

Try This
Make a list of all the emotions you have felt today. Check the ones you think were not controlled as well as they could have been. Check the emotions you have felt today that you feel were of value to you.

Maintaining Mental Health - Controlling emotion

Controlling emotion. The third aspect of good mental health is the ability to control the emotions. Undoubtedly you have occasionally lost your temper when your parents have forbidden you to go somewhere or do something. This could be serious, if you could not control your temper, or habitually lost your temper.

Because people your age are likely to become very enthusiastic about some things and extremely critical of others, it is a good idea to "stand back and look at yourself." Can you see yourself usually losing control of your enthusi­asm when your team wins a basketball game? Can you see yourself always arguing heatedly with an umpire? If you can answer yes to these questions, you need to practice controlling your emotions.

It is important for you to recognize that everyone has feelings of anger, and that nearly everyone occasionally loses his temper. However, a mature person does not allow himself to lose his temper habitually. Neither does he allow himself to become angry every time something happens he doesn’t like. If you think of the adults you like and admire, you will probably find that they control their feelings well enough so that they are pleasant peo­ple to be with.

Methods of control. There are many ways you can control your emotions. One is to talk over the situation with a friend, your parents, or a teacher. This way is often a good one because it can make you understand ways to deal with similar situations in the future.

Physical activity is a good way to get rid of your anger. If you are angry with someone and you cannot talk to anyone about it, it will feel good to perform some vigorous activity, such as washing the family car, playing basketball, swimming, cleaning the house, or mowing the lawn. This method of releasing strong feeling is called sublimation. You will be surprised to see how much better you will feel after sublimating your anger.

There are other ways of letting go of angry feelings. Creative work, such as woodworking, painting, or sculp­ture, is fun and useful. Writing is an­other way to get rid of your feelings of anger, rebellion, or discouragement. It sometimes helps to write down the reason for your feelings. Then you can control them because you know why you feel so strongly.

Another emotion that you can at­tempt to control is fear. Everyone has felt worried or afraid when he has ap­proached a difficult test or unfamiliar situation. However, this fear should not be allowed to become too strong. If it does, you will not be able to do your best. The easiest way to get rid of such feelings is to make sure you have studied adequately. Then, if you are still worried, try doing something re­laxing. If you are too worried to relax, you might go outside and play a game. It might be good to call a friend to see how he is progressing with studying. These methods will take your mind off your problems and help you to control your fear.

The important thing to remember about controlling your emotions is that you should do something about them. It never helps just to sit by yourself worrying about a disappointment or situation that made you angry.

Value of emotions. It has been said that emotion is the stuff of life. Any person who had not felt the joy of success, the anger of frustration, or the pride of victory has not lived very much or very well.

When properly controlled, your emo­tions are of great value. If you become supremely enthusiastic about support­ing a friend who is running for the student council, you are using your emotions. Probably no one has ever been elected to anything unless his friends were a little emotional about his strong points.

Your emotions are helping you right now. When you become worried about your grades on a science test, your fears cause you to do something— study harder or obtain special help from your teacher. Have you noticed that when you are playing a game the excitement has helped you to perform a little better?

The important thing to remember about emotions is that they should not be hidden or forgotten, but should be used well.