Living by Your Values

Learning values. During your life­time your parents and teachers have been teaching you the values of our society. Sometimes you have not been aware that you were learning new values, but you have been learning them every minute. You have learned from watching others, hearing others, and observing your own actions. You have learned that some things are con­sidered right; others, wrong.

One interesting test of your values is to think of yourself as an invisible person. How would your actions change if you knew that no one could see you?

Try This
Test your own system of values by completing the sentence: I believe that the three most important things in life are ….

Your conscience. You have the power to weigh the worthiness of everything you do or say. All your life your mind has been at work filing away mental impressions of the way you have acted and the ways those you respect have acted. Out of all these impressions and memories, your con­science has been formed. Your con­science judges you for every action you make.

The society in which we live has cer­tain standards of behavior by which we guide our lives. Our consciences and the consciences of our parents and loved ones have picked up these stand­ards. Your conscience reminds you to study for a test, even though you may be tempted to do the opposite. In later years your conscience will help you to accept greater responsibilities and will become a more vital part of your per­sonality.

Guilty feelings. You may find that occasionally your conscience conflicts with something you want to do. If you do not follow your conscience, you will probably feel guilty or ashamed. Ev­eryone occasionally makes mistakes. It is important for you to know how to make up for them.

Perhaps the hardest part of making up for a mistake is admitting to your­self that you were wrong. If you quar­reled with your sister or brother over some small matter, you probably do not want to admit to yourself that you were partly to blame. Once you have admitted your mistake to yourself, however, it is much easier to make a sincere apology or to make up for the wrongdoing. Certainly you can see that you will command greater respect if you follow your conscience and also try to make up for whatever short­comings you can.

Values in your personality. You may have been able to conclude from the information in the last few pages that a person’s values can shape his personality. For example, a person who believes in the value of a good education is likely to be curious, interested in many subjects, and active in school affairs. His values have had a great effect on his personality.

You can see that a lack of strong values can affect personality, too. A person who does not value honesty would have a less than admirable set of traits in his personality. In the eyes of others, your values may well be the mark of your personality.

As you think about values and per­sonality, you will realize that they relate to both mental health and family relationships. Because of these relationships, you are likely to improve your family relationships as you im­prove your mental health and personality. An improvement in one area is likely to affect other areas as well.

Maintaining Mental Health

As you have learned in the previous section, one way to improve your personality is to improve your mental health. Your adolescence is the time between your child­hood and your adult years when your personality begins to assume new im­portance for you. During these years you form much of the personality that will be yours in years to come. And it is during these years that the knowl­edge of mental health and personality will be of the most help to you.

The descriptions of four major signs of mental health that appear in this section contain suggestions for main­taining your mental health and im­proving your personality. You can use many of the ideas presented here to help you know yourself and the re­actions you commonly make. You can use the ideas to help you better understand your feelings. They can also help you understand your parents and your relationship to them.

Personality and Mental Health

What is mental health? Mental health concerns feelings, attitudes, and abilities. It is the way a person reacts to other people and situations. A per — son’s mental health may be judged by two criteria , or tests. The first is the person’s ability to "fit in," or adjust, to different situations. The second is the person’s ability to accept or change situations which cause frustration. Perhaps this ability to accept situations which cause feelings of discouragement is the more difficult of the two. Both these abilities not only reflect a person’s mental health, but also are reflected in his personality.

Think for Yourself
Do you think that a person with good mental health always has good physical health?

What  is  personality?  There are many definitions of personality. Most people use the word to mean the total impression a person makes on other people. It is the reflection of your hab­its, traits, feelings, abilities, and even your appearance. Part of your person­ality was formed by the time you were born. Part of it has not yet been formed. It is affected by your environment,   or   surroundings,   and  may change from time to time.
Often, people say, "He has a cheer­ful personality," or, "She has a quiet personality." These people are describing obvious personality traits. Actually, no one’s personality is simple enough to be described in a word, or in even a thousand words. Whole books, for instance, have been written about one person’s greed, temper, or dedication. You know that any of these qual­ities could form only a fraction of a person’s total personality.

Health of your personality. Have you noticed that mental health and personality are closely related? In a sense, your mental health is the health of your personality. Because your emotions, abilities, habits, and attitudes affect both, your attempts to improve one will probably improve the other. For example, if you improve your personality by becoming more tactful, you may find that you are bet­ter able to enjoy parties and social occasions as a result. In that case, your attempt to improve your personality would have improved your mental health, also.