Your Family and Your Personality

Consideration. There are times in everyone’s life when he realizes that someone in his family is very consider­ate of him. When this happens to you, what do you do about it? You might stop and wonder whether you have done as much to help your mother, father, or brother. It is wise to remind yourself that everyone in your family wants to be treated the way you do. Their feelings are like yours and they need the same kindness and under­standing you need. You can see the wisdom in treating people with the same consideration you would like from them.

Growing with your family. During your early teens you are beginning to enjoy new interests and activities. You may find that your interests are changing but that those of your par­ents and brothers and sisters are not.

When these differences become noticeable, you may find that you have to find new ways of understanding the other members of your family. They, in turn, have to find new ways of un­derstanding you.

One of your new interests is prob­ably an increased desire for indepen­dence and self-reliance. Because this feeling of growing independence is a new one, your parents may disagree with some of the responsibilities you want to assume. You should try to have patience and exercise self-control in your attempts to show your inde­pendence.

As you become more and more in­dependent you will find that conflicts are most likely to occur in four areas. They are disagreements over spending money, outside activities and social life, time spent doing schoolwork, and clothes. These disagreements do no one any good and should be eliminated by talking about conflicts and by respect­ing others’ points of view.

Sometimes you can confide in adult friends outside your home. Your teach­ers, your pastor, or a counselor may be
a good person to confide in.

As you talk with your parents and friends about differences of opinion, you will find that you and they will reach a deeper understanding of each other’s wishes and needs. This process helps you to grow up and makes the path of growing up less troublesome than if you walked it alone.

Maintaining Mental Health - Understanding feelings of rebellion

Understanding feelings of rebellion. When you have become as old as you are now, you may find that you disagree with some of your parents’ and teachers’ values and ways of doing things. You feel that you want to make decisions for yourself and do not want someone to make them for you. You are learning to become independent and are forming more of your own personality.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that sooner or later you will work out your own ways of doing things. Instead of going your own way and ignoring the advice of adults com­pletely, talk over some of your prob­lems with your parents, clergyman, guidance counselor, and teachers. It may surprise you to find that they can be a great help in finding answers to your problems.

Never forget the possibility that you may be rebelling against people just for the sake of rebellion. You may be so eager to show that you are mature that you forget that most of your par­ents’ values are extremely sound. It is a mature person who can look at his own feelings of rebellion and realize that sometimes they have little basis in reality. If you can look at your feelings in this way, you have taken a giant step toward adulthood.

After you have considered these four areas of mental health–maintaining self-confidence, making ad­justments, controlling emotions, and understanding feelings of rebellion—-you may have a better idea of the ways to change your personality and main­tain good mental health.

Try This
Make a list of all the emotions you have felt today. Check the ones you think were not controlled as well as they could have been. Check the emotions you have felt today that you feel were of value to you.